writing it...

it's the last day of the year... 2007

it's yet another day in a year where i'm gonna sit quietly and flashback on what i did in this year then kiss this year goodbye.



frankly speaking, not much things happen. but i couldn't say that as many things i experienced in this year...

year 2007... 7 is my favourite num and i hope it brings good things to me in this year but it was awkward... this year... i saw many deaths... many unhappy things occur...

had many activities this year but giving it out of 10, i only enjoyed 2-3 of it...

there must be death in order for resurrection... as the number 8 represents ressurection, let 7 represent death... hope that year 2008 be a promising year for all of us...

i had a great time planting memories in form 6.
my form 6, started at july2006 and ended 3 december2007. time really flies.

i just can't believe i finish my stpm in a blink of an eye. my days in form 6 ended when the time reached 4.30pm 3 dec monday afternoon. at 1st, i felt so relieve that i finally get to feel the taste of freedom. for the next 6 months, no more waking up early, no homework, no strict disciplines and much more that you could expect from a school.

when night falls, classmates gathered at my house for a bbq. the bbq that night went quite smooth. by the end of the bbq, it just left the foofeets hanging out at my place.

some of my classmates and i went to lundu the following day for a trip and stayed there for one night. the 2 days in lundu passed so fast like the waves washing the shores and the sands leaving the beach. at that time, i really can't believe it... are we goin to part ourselves after returning kuching from lundu just like that?? how about the memories we had shared in the one and a half years time in form 6?? the laughters we shared?? the support on each of our backs??are we gonna slot these memories in a time capsul to burry it in the ground??....

.....face the fact..... this is life.....

there are times that we should leave something behind in order to move forward.

memories-a past progressive noun. we cant always hold back living in the past. nobody can walk forward straightly with their head facing back.

move on with life.

lost...

lost myself.....
i lost myself.....

woke up 845am yesterday morning. went out to my other house to supervise the renovation.
it was raining heavily that morning. i was drivin without conscience. still in the midst of my mind. nothing that i was thinking about. driving on a straight road, as the car in front of me accelerating faster, i started to lost sight of it due to the heavy shower pouring. at that time it struck me. my 'vision' is really getting blur. i dont know how to move on with my life. i feel so dull these days. wondering if someone would walk up to me and just kill me.

as i reach my destination, i stayed in the car for quite sometime to get my act together. there, i could hardly feel my heart beating. i feel so so so down. i dont know the causes.

i lost myself...
this isnt me....

until now, i feel the same.

i need a compass... lead me the way... find me back...

woke up at 9am yesterday(sunday). felt a little sick at that time. didnt bother much bout myself so i got myself cleaned up and ready to leave house. i was plannin to go for the blood donation at hilton that mornin. so i reached hilton at 930am. at that time, my nose was running caused by the rain these days. i held my flu as much as i could. i had a though that i couldnt donate my blood that mornin cause of my flu.

i sign myself up for the blood donation. surprisingly, during the sign-up i met up with connie. she was there to take photographs of the event. after that, the pathalogist had my blood tested to see whether im qualified to donate my blood. 2 results came out...

1st test result- im B+ (rhesus positive > i can get married!! haha)
2nd test result - my blood lack of hemoglobin (less than 2.5)...

due to the second result, i ended up not donating.

once i reached 18 years of age, i've been tryin my best to attend blood donation campaign to donate a portion of myself to help others but it seems that luck isnt on my side. through my past account that i've remembered, i've been sick durin the campaign and couldnt manage 2 attend sometimes. maybe God just doesnt want me to donate?

moving on, since i cant donate my blood on that day, i sign-up to be an organ donor. well, i guess through this program, i believe i can help those in need to continue their lives when my time comes. i really do hope that more people are aware of this program and are willing to offer their parts for those in need.

i left hilton around 1030am for my church meeting. i didnt stay long there and went back home at 1115am. at home i filled my empty stomach with some food in the kitchen then went back to sleep. i really slept for quite a long time for that afternoon maybe it is due to the lack of sleep for the past few weeks.

actually i was indeed getting worried about my health. at 1st i though i could maintain good health cause i've been getting myself fit by going to gym 3 times a week. who knows i ended up lacking of hemoglobin. haiz... i think i gotta be more aware of my nutrition.

eat healthy too.....