writing it...

lost...

lost myself.....
i lost myself.....

woke up 845am yesterday morning. went out to my other house to supervise the renovation.
it was raining heavily that morning. i was drivin without conscience. still in the midst of my mind. nothing that i was thinking about. driving on a straight road, as the car in front of me accelerating faster, i started to lost sight of it due to the heavy shower pouring. at that time it struck me. my 'vision' is really getting blur. i dont know how to move on with my life. i feel so dull these days. wondering if someone would walk up to me and just kill me.

as i reach my destination, i stayed in the car for quite sometime to get my act together. there, i could hardly feel my heart beating. i feel so so so down. i dont know the causes.

i lost myself...
this isnt me....

until now, i feel the same.

i need a compass... lead me the way... find me back...

woke up at 9am yesterday(sunday). felt a little sick at that time. didnt bother much bout myself so i got myself cleaned up and ready to leave house. i was plannin to go for the blood donation at hilton that mornin. so i reached hilton at 930am. at that time, my nose was running caused by the rain these days. i held my flu as much as i could. i had a though that i couldnt donate my blood that mornin cause of my flu.

i sign myself up for the blood donation. surprisingly, during the sign-up i met up with connie. she was there to take photographs of the event. after that, the pathalogist had my blood tested to see whether im qualified to donate my blood. 2 results came out...

1st test result- im B+ (rhesus positive > i can get married!! haha)
2nd test result - my blood lack of hemoglobin (less than 2.5)...

due to the second result, i ended up not donating.

once i reached 18 years of age, i've been tryin my best to attend blood donation campaign to donate a portion of myself to help others but it seems that luck isnt on my side. through my past account that i've remembered, i've been sick durin the campaign and couldnt manage 2 attend sometimes. maybe God just doesnt want me to donate?

moving on, since i cant donate my blood on that day, i sign-up to be an organ donor. well, i guess through this program, i believe i can help those in need to continue their lives when my time comes. i really do hope that more people are aware of this program and are willing to offer their parts for those in need.

i left hilton around 1030am for my church meeting. i didnt stay long there and went back home at 1115am. at home i filled my empty stomach with some food in the kitchen then went back to sleep. i really slept for quite a long time for that afternoon maybe it is due to the lack of sleep for the past few weeks.

actually i was indeed getting worried about my health. at 1st i though i could maintain good health cause i've been getting myself fit by going to gym 3 times a week. who knows i ended up lacking of hemoglobin. haiz... i think i gotta be more aware of my nutrition.

eat healthy too.....